Daughter in Anguish After Dad Dies of Coronavirus and She Can't Hold Funeral: 'There's No Closure'

Days before Ashley Cooper’s father Phillip Cooper died of COVID-19, she was told by hospital staff he was in stable condition and would be ready to return home.

Unfortunately, the pair never got to see that day — and Ashley, a location coordinator for NBC’s Chicago Fire, is now left wondering what she’s going to do without the man whom she called her “best friend.”

“He really believed in me. There was nothing like that encouragement my dad gave me,” she tells PEOPLE. “What hurts me most is, when the quarantine is up and we all get back to our lives, not having that. That scares me.”

“What the hell am I gonna do without his words and his love as a father?” she continues. “I feel vulnerable and unprotected, and I’m 33, almost 34, and that might sound crazy, but that’s how I feel.”

Though Phillip passed away at age 73 on April 2, Ashley says her father — who was a healthy man and worked out six times per week — initially started feeling ill around Thanksgiving.

RELATED: California Mother and Daughter Die Just Hours Apart from Coronavirus: ‘It Happened So Quickly’

At the time, the retired physical education teacher assumed that he had the flu, but his family grew concerned when he wasn’t feeling any better by mid-February.

“My mom took him to the hospital and they said he had a bacterial infection and pneumonia because he had a bad cough,” Ashley recalls. “He didn’t look himself, he wasn’t working out. He felt confused. It was all very sudden.”

After close to 10 days in the hospital, Phillip was released and returned home, where Ashley says he seemed to be doing “okay,” but was still dealing with a bad cough along with pre-existing kidney issues.

Within a few weeks, the coronavirus began to rapidly spread throughout the United States. Still, Ashley was convinced whatever illness he was fighting wasn’t COVID-19, recalling a conversation with her cousin where she said, “He’s had this cough awhile. He’s fine, I don’t know why he has a cough but he does … and he’s never had a fever.”

By March 23, her perspective had changed and Ashley became worried about the rising coronavirus case numbers. For peace of mind, she encouraged her father to get tested, which he eventually did on March 27.

On his way to the hospital that day, Ashley says her uncle, who was driving the car, noticed Phillip was “so weak he could barely walk” and that his condition “scared him so bad that he was running through red lights to get to the hospital.”

When they arrived, Phillip went inside alone due to the hospital’s safety restrictions, while Ashley later spoke to a doctor on the phone who said her father had pneumonia and was going to be tested for COVID-19, since that illness was a symptom of the virus.

His results came back positive on March 30, but doctors reassured Ashley that her father would be okay and could return home the following day, so long as he took antibiotics and quarantined himself for the next two weeks.

However, on March 31, Phillip was transferred to the ICU after experiencing trouble breathing. His oxygen levels continued to fluctuate over the next two days — with doctors, at one point, recommending that he be put on a ventilator, despite Phillip’s wishes — until Thursday morning when he passed away at 10:55 a.m.

Ashley, who says she last saw her dad in person on March 3 and only got to FaceTime him once while he was in the hospital, was left heartbroken by the news.

“The thing that hurts the most is how he died,” she explains. “I think about people in these hospitals, they’re not with their families, they’re not around their loved ones. It’s scary. It’s a horrible way to die… and I was not prepared for this.”

Even worse, social distancing mandates have prevented Ashley from grieving with her family and holding a funeral service for her father, whom she has since had cremated.

“There’s no closure this way. It’s like he was plucked out of my life, and it feels like it could’ve been prevented,” she says. “It’s beautiful when someone passes, that you can come together and celebrate them. Not having that feels like a slap in the face.”

“So when people are talking about COVID being a lie, it is insulting to every person who has lost their life, every family member or friend who has lost someone because of it,” she adds. “People want to open up their states and get a hair cut? Well, I wanna talk to my dad. … If your only trouble is that you are bored at home, you are blessed. I wish that was my case.”

RELATED: Son Shares Heartbreaking Reality of COVID-19 Crisis for Those in Nursing Homes After Father Dies

When it is safe to do so, Ashley says she intends on giving her father the memorial he deserves, which she expects to hold outdoors near Lake Michigan, where Phillip lived and adored.

“I will wait so we can have a memorial service that represents him because he had so many people who loved him,” she explains. “He loved going out and celebrating. … He just loved life and he really did live it like every day was his last.”

Until then, she is doing her best to cope with the loss, in part by remembering all the things about her father that made him so beloved.

“My dad showed up for everything — everyone’s event, everyone’s party. If you invited him, he was gonna show up,” she recalls. “He didn’t drink or smoke, but he kept a case of wine or champagne in the car because he would always go to people’s houses … and didn’t want to show up empty-handed.”

RELATED VIDEO: Coronavirus Myths Debunked: Special Pathogens Expert Says ‘The Fact Speaks For Itself’

“He was a proud Chicagoan and a proud educator,” Ashley adds. “He was my best friend. He was a great father and really supported me and my dreams. You can’t ask for a better parent than that.”

As of Wednesday, there have been at least 832,325 cases and 42,353 deaths attributed to coronavirus in the United States, according to the New York Times. In Illinois, at least 35,108 cases and 1,577 deaths have been reported, according to the Times.

As information about the coronavirus pandemic rapidly changes, PEOPLE is committed to providing the most recent data in our coverage. Some of the information in this story may have changed after publication. For the latest on COVID-19, readers are encouraged to use online resources from CDC, WHO, and local public health departments. PEOPLE has partnered with GoFundMe to raise money for the COVID-19 Relief Fund, a GoFundMe.org fundraiser to support everything from frontline responders to families in need, as well as organizations helping communities. For more information or to donate, click here.